Money confessions – My 40k shame
Money messes, meet real talk — straight-up advice on your biggest financial dilemmas
This week's money confession:
On my 18th birthday, I was accidentally granted access to money that my parents had saved and set aside for me. They didn't realise I got access to it automatically when I turned 18 – and I didn't have much experience with budgeting, spending or saving, so I treated it like a never-ending money pit.
My parents were furious when they eventually found out, and by then, I had none left. I spent the whole lot – almost $40K – in a year.
It's been the biggest regret of my life and only after doing so did I really understand the value of money. When I moved out, I had to learn what it's like to work hard for my money – it's been a major eye opener and struggle.
It's been almost a decade since my big money slip-up and my now-partner wants to buy an apartment together. My sister used her $40k from mum and dad towards her deposit, and my boyfriend has asked me if my parents will do the same for me. Do I need to fess up to my partner about my reckless youth – or can I make up another excuse?
Sarah Megginson, Head of Editorial at Finder, says:
Being 100% upfront and honest with your partner might feel like a big step. But it's probably the best route – for a few reasons.
Firstly, you're in a serious relationship where you're about to start making big financial plans together, so a strong foundation of trust and openness is pretty crucial. You wouldn't like to buy a home together and discover he'd been hiding a major money secret from his past from you either, right?
It sounds like you've learned a lot from your experience, and your partner might actually appreciate knowing how far you've come. You could start the conversation by acknowledging your past mistake and how much it's taught you about money. Let them know that back then, you didn't have budgeting skills, and it led to a hard lesson – but it ultimately gave you the motivation to be the responsible Money Queen you are today.
You're likely to feel loads of relief by being open about it. Making up a story, on the other hand, could lead to complications – especially if the truth ever came out later. And if your partner has a clear understanding of what happened, they'll probably be able to respect your journey and see it as a sign of growth, not recklessness.
Once it's out in the open, you can fully move forward together with your shared financial goals and start planning for your exciting property purchase (check out our first homebuyer's hub for lots of inspo and tips!). While it's tempting to cover up things we regret, facing them honestly with those closest to us usually strengthens the relationship. You've got this!