Money confession – I’m broke as a joke

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Money messes, meet real talk — straight-up advice on your biggest financial dilemmas

This week's money confession:

My friends are all high-achieving, high-earning rockstars. I have a good job but I earn pretty ordinary money, so I pretend I'm doing better than I am with my friends by shouting rounds of drinks I can't afford on my credit card, and buying concert tickets and pricey birthday gifts on AfterPay.

Most recently, I splurged $600 on concert tickets for Billie Eilish as a gift for my closest friend. I don't have this kind of money spare. But I can't seem to stop myself from making reckless choices!

It's all catching up with me. I have so many AfterPays going and my credit card is maxed and I'm paying over $200 in interest each month. My friends want to go to Bali in the new year, and I can't afford it, but I don't want to miss out and I don't want to let them know how much I'm struggling. How do I get out of this trip without confessing I'm broke as a joke?

Got your own money confession to get off your chest? Email it to moneyconfessions@finder.com

Sarah Megginson, Head of Editorial at Finder, says:

Your situation is one of the reasons I'm not a fan of buy now pay later accounts. These platforms allow us to spend way beyond on our means – I know of someone who had 53 separate AfterPay transactions going!

To begin with, cut yourself some slack. It's way too easy to overspend these days – you can spend money you don't have, on things you don't need, way more easily than you ever could in the past.

Next, I'm less concerned about a potential sun and sand filled trip to Bali, and more concerned about the sand you've firmly buried your head in. It's time to get your head out of the sand and address the reality of your financial situation. You need to look at your income and your expenses to see what the actual state of play is, and what steps you need to take to get into more solid ground.

As for your friends, here's the thing: trying to match someone else's lifestyle when it's not sustainable for you is only going to make you feel worse over time, and it sounds like the financial stress is already weighing on you.

For getting out of the Bali trip, you could approach it casually by saying something like, "I've got a few big financial goals for next year, so I might sit this one out." No need to go into details or make it sound like a downer – just an offhand comment can work to keep things light.

If they push back, let them know it's a personal priority for you to stay on track with those goals (whether it's saving for something, paying off debt, or whatever you're comfortable mentioning). Good friends will respect that, and you can also suggest more budget-friendly holidays for later in the year – like a weekend to wine country, or a few days by the beach.

Keep in mind that your friends love you for much more than your bank balance, and trying to match their spending patterns doesn't define your value to them – and with a little honesty and self-restraint, you'll be able to bring your stress levels down and make financial choices that work for you.

Check out previous week's money confessions:

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